Gordaen's Blog

This whole summer I’ve been quite the slacker. At times, I accomplished a lot, but other times I was just wasting the days away. I used to always think it was so stupid when people created lists of goals, but I’m finding that largely necessary now. I decided to use an online system to track my goals.

In an effort to ensure that I actually accomplish some of these, I decided I should show my goals online. I had a few problems though. For one, my goals did not show up in order.

• Improve public speaking skills
• Win elections by any means necessary
• Call opponent a flipflopper a lot
• Delete all those darn internet references to me declaring that we shouldn’t be into nation building
• Get those annoying UN inspectors out of Iraq before we invade
• Balance the budget (I guess people think promises are something you are supposed to do?)
• Bring up how important the war on terror is, tie into Iraq
• Claim no one tried to tie 9/11 and Iraq together, admit they aren’t related
• Capture Osama bin Laden (I don’t care about him, but the public does for some reason)
• Pledge 15 million dollars to recovery efforts for the worst disaster in recent history (the public is dumb, they’ll think that is a lot)
• Find out what a hurricane is and why everyone is still talking about some girl named Katrina
• Help out rich people, especially my friends
• Find out what “admit mistakes” and “accept responsibility” mean
• God told me to make “White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives” so I better do it
• Sneak a clause into the No Child Left Behind Act (ha, great name!) that makes schools give every student’s contact information to military recruiters
• Improve average income to level it was in 2000
• Decrease unemployment to level it was in 2000
• Learn to pronounce nuclear
• Repay John Bolton for past favors
• Put religion back in schools
• Take over the world! (I can do it, my daddy said so!)

In fact, I don’t even think those were mine, well, besides the world domination one.