Hooray For Feminism!
Published October 23rd, 2006 in Cultural, HumorI am taking a Women’s Studies course at the university as my last general requirement. When I signed up for it, I figured the course would be about the difference between the perspectives of men and women, empowering women, and perhaps some historical info about influential women. It is actually about prejudice… and that is all. The book that is used to supplement the course leaves quite a bit to be desired. It’s bad enough (sexist) that I am going to do a blog post about it in the near future. Anyway, the real point of this post is that I am all for the feminist movement. In fact, I am so for it, that I think we should have gender reversals. In case this happens, I would like to point out some of the changes that guys are going to have to endure.
Physical
Society considers women weaker than men, so less is expected of females physically. Once the gender roles are reversed, less will be expected of men. For men joining the Army, that means doing 42 pushups in a minute will be considered 100% (instead of 60%) and a two-mile run in 15:36 will be 100% (instead of 64%). Do not worry though, you will still earn the same amount of money as the other sex. Since you will be regarded as physically weaker, it will be taboo for the opposite sex to hit you, but feel free to express your anger with a good slap or two.
Dating
You will also have the opportunity to stand around “looking pretty” in order to get a date, instead of being assertive. That means instead of 60 minutes in the gym, you will probably spend that time painting your face. Do not worry though, you can complain to the opposite sex about how much work it is and how you do it all for that person! Instead of shaving your face, you will shave your legs. You will also not be expected to open doors for your date. Since you will pretty much be the one determining how far a date goes, you can “get lucky” on the first date. What’s more is that you’ll do a lot less work “in the bed.” Just be aware that you might be called a “whore,” which will result in a lot more people seeking you for sexual pleasure with no intent for a real relationship. The special bonus is that you won’t even be expected to pay for anything on the date! In fact, just looking good will earn you a lot of favors from dates and strangers alike!
Interests
You will no longer be expected to know about cars or computers, but you will have to keep up on the personal lives of everyone you know and a bunch of people you don’t know (movie stars in particular). If you do happen to know about cars or computers, you will earn “cool points” with the other sex. If you do anything the way the opposite sex does, you won’t be considered “weak,” but instead will be cooler. You can actually refuse to drink beer because it tastes bad without looking like a “sissy.”
Emotions
If something hurts, cry. You don’t have to worry about your appearance. You can expect that someone will try to make it better for you, though you may have to listen to the opposite sex tell you the easy way you should have done it. You can cry during any movie, even if you’re happy. Just call them “happy tears.” It will be a lot of work to overly amplify all emotions, but it will pay off in the long run when you can use them to your advantage.
Occupation
If you do not want to work for a living, you can be a “housewife.” That means you have to spend 30-60 minutes making dinner, a few minutes putting clothes into the washer and dryer, a few minutes to load/unload the dishwasher, maybe 30 minutes a week vacuuming, some time dusting, etc. If you end up working eight hours a day as a “housewife,” you’re doing something wrong. If that still ends up being too much work, feel free to call your spouse “sexist” and demand assistance. Being unable to open a jar is a legitimate reason to delay dinner.
When you have children, you should probably play with them, but nowadays you can just plop them in front of a TV and let it do all the work for you. Just be aware that every now-and-then you’ll have to complain that TV is corrupting our youth and they shouldn’t show X on TV (replace X with some form of violence, sexuality, or anything else you haven’t properly taught your children about). If things go really sour, blame teachers for not parenting your children. You can watch TV almost the entire day. Just be aware that daytime TV is based on excessive gossip and drama, in case you don’t already get enough from the magazines you will be reading (they’re all about what movie stars are doing in their personal lives because that has such a huge influence on their movies/shows). If your spouse complains about you becoming fat, respond with “You only care about looks! You don’t care about the real me!”
Legal Ramifications
Since males will be regarded as more responsible with children, you are probably going to win most custody cases unless you are on drugs or an alcoholic. That also means if you are intoxicated and have sex with another intoxicated person, you might be able to claim rape. It’s also good to be aware that if you impregnate a girl and abortion is legal, you will not have been responsible for using protection and your partner will have no legal say in the abortion decision.
Hmm, somehow I feel like some of these ideas (as they are now) might have a root in reality and that differences and contrasts can be beneficial to society… nah, that’s crazy talk!
That was a very entertaining read! I’m sorry your women’s studies course isn’t what you had hoped. I took a few of those courses when I was in college, and while I did run into a little bit of what you encountered, my courses were generally well-balanced and informative.
One of my psychology courses was “Gender Roles,” and one assignment was to do exactly what you suggest. At the beginning of the class, we were given a project, separated into workgroups, and instructed to behave as the other sex/gender for the remainder of the class. As expected, most of the guys were reluctant to do so, but the girls had fun with it. I think the participants would have to be into it in order to actually learn something from it, and it’s hard to get most guys to let their guards down enough to express their concepts of femininity. Women, on the other hand, usually don’t have any such psychological barriers in that area.
Anyway, the various changes you list regarding the swapping of sex/gender roles, while comical, are pretty accurate. As a transsexual, I’ve experienced both sides of the physical expectations, dating customs, interests, and emotional expressions that you brought up. Several differences you note, especially in the areas of dating and interests, are dead-on.
For example, even though I never was very big or masculine as a man, no one ever worried about me walking alone through a parking lot when I went out in public as a guy. I was on my own, and others expected to handle whatever came my way. As a woman, my male friends (and even some female friends) routinely offer to walk me to my car when I leave a bar, coffee house, party, etc., especially at night. Internally, I still feel the same, and I wish they had offered to do things like that when I was presenting myself as a guy, but externally, the perception others have of me is entirely different. Those different perceptions cause others to interact with me much differently. And yes, dating is completely different!
I don’t want to say that others are nicer to me as a woman, but they certainly are more concerned about me. They open doors for me, ask me if I’m O.K. or if I need anything, offer to help me carry things, and men don’t ask me to help them move or carry anything. There are many more examples, but I’m already running long. In short, I can personally verify your statements about the differences in the way the two genders are perceived and treated in our society.
Again, great blog entry!
There is some good in the course (for instance, I read an essay on a female’s first-person account of anorexia, which I found to be very informative), but I feel like I have to dig through a lot of BS and inaccurate or one-sided text to get there. I feel like even if you attack something from one angle, you should show others as well (a colonial study of the beginning of the United States would be incomplete without showing how the natives were treated, for instance).
You mentioned the course you had in which the two sexes had to reverse their gender roles and how most of the males were reluctant. I think that really illustrates the differences of society’s expectations. It’s okay for a woman to hold hands with another woman, but not for men to hold hands with other men. It’s okay for a woman to “act like a boy” (she is just a “tomboy”), but society tries to say it’s wrong for a man to act like a woman. That exercise would actually be really interesting.
You brought up some great points about the differences in the way society treats males and females. Thanks for your very insightful perspective and detailed post!