Gordaen’s Blog

Everywhere you go, more and more people are listening to MP3 players and using other portable electronic devices. It’s as if this is technology and it makes life better. Unfortunately, some people are dumb. I’m sure you’ve seen them, people who are oblivious to the world because they’re listening to songs letting them know how White and Nerdy they are. People paying no attention while crossing streets have been hit by passing cars, which has caused Senator Carl Kruger to desire a ban on the use of any electronic devices while crossing the street in New York City or Buffalo.

“I’m not trying to intrude on that,” Kruger said. “But what’s happening is when they’re tuning into their iPod or Blackberry or cell phone or video game, they’re walking into speeding buses and moving automobiles. It’s becoming a nationwide problem.”

I think his idea is to protect the idiots by making everyone else suffer. I think he would probably also propose a ban on meat, because some people don’t cook it long enough. If you’re older than two, you know to “look both ways before crossing the street/road.” If you are so stupid that you think changing songs is more important than not dying, well, you probably have nothing to contribute to society anyway. I would propose that the businesses that produce these electronic devices pay the person whose car was damaged.

Another point I thought I should make is that the city probably shouldn’t have “speeding buses.” Of course, if this is just a reference to a bus in motion, then it points even more strongly to the stupid people who are hit. If you don’t see a bus coming, there isn’t much hope for you.

Banning iPods would just make us more like North Korea and that country is “evil,” so we shouldn’t want that, right? In order to help people out, I’ve created a valuable illustration of the proper and improper way to cross a street.