Gordaen’s Blog

Every once in a while (well, most of the time) I waste my brain power on things that don’t really matter. The other day, I started thinking, “What starts trends?” A lot of trends are really stupid, so how do we go from thinking, “Wow, that guy is an idiot” to “Man, he is so up with the times, y0.” I’ve developed a little theory.

One day a really ditzy girl decides to wear a black bra and a white t-shirt. She is ditzy, so she has no idea that the white shirt is practically see-thru and the black bra will be really obvious to everyone. All the normal people realize that this was a really stupid choice, but ditziness is often tied with looking good, so people start to see it as a “hot girl showing off what she has.” Since she is already popular for being good looking, the new “style” will pick up.

Soon, the trend is followed by the girls who don’t look quite as good but think that they will be popular because they follow the styles that the popular girls follow. Of course, those girls soon find the support of the latest pop music videos.

Another example is guys wearing sagging pants. Somehow a trend got started that makes certain people think that they should wear their pants six or more inches below where they should be, while wearing boxers at the normal level. This is very different from the trend where girls wear low jeans to show off a thong, because the three strings that make up that thong probably cost more than the whole pack of WalMart boxers the guy is showing off. If you have to constantly pull up your pants, they’re the wrong size!

I’m not sure how this one started. It could be that someone thought plumbers were really cool, but their cracks were not. It might also be related to the male tendency to buy clothes without trying them on. Some fairly popular, dyslexic guy bought jeans with a waist of 43 inches instead of 34. He didn’t want to admit his mistake, so he opted to wear them anyway and pretend he bought that size on purpose. Next thing you know, other guys are thinking, “Well, I’d love if *insert model’s name here* would wear her pants that low, so I bet girls will be all over me if I wear mine like that too!” They don’t realize that the girls notice the cheapo, inside-out (because they’ve been worn 10 times without being washed) boxers and are turned off. Nor do they realize other guys are plotting going around with staple guns and fixing the sagging problem. Remember, it’s called underwear.

Then there are face piercings. Some guy named Bubba was licking his fishing hook (don’t ask me why, he should have stuck to shrimp) and it slipped, passing through his lip. He didn’t want to just yank it out and he wasn’t smart enough to work it backward, so he kept it in there while he finished his fishing. Bubba forgot about the hook and slept that night. When he woke the next morning, he saw the hook in his mirror and realized the wound had healed over, so he just left it in. Bubba is a big guy, so people started associating metal crap on someone’s face with toughness. Next thing you know, everyone is getting metal jammed in their lips, tongues, eyebrows, and noses. The noses are especially great because you can have a “pretty” diamond that comes with the added benefit of always looking like you have a silver booger up your nose.