Gordaen’s Blog

I am flying out of state tonight. I don’t expect to have Internet access, so the blog will probably be without any new posts for about a week and a half. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might prewrite some posts and schedule them to go up while I’m gone, just to keep the cobwebs away, but I don’t know if I’ll have the time.

I’ll be flying, which I dread. It’s not the flying (I enjoy flights in private planes), but everything that goes along with that, particularly airports. Where there’s an airport, there’s a large number of people. Where there’s a large number of people, the collective IQ drops significantly.

Security
Security is painful for a number of reasons. I don’t know about most Americans, but I am sick of this administration and terrorism (and all the constant talk about it). The security at the airport could let a terrorist onto the plane with an MP5 and when s/he tried to hijack the plane, I would still jump on him, rather pissed off from the delay s/he is likely to cause. I don’t know if the other passengers would help out, but I think there are enough Americans who would want to kick the terrorist’s ass that we really don’t need to worry about it. That doesn’t mean I think we should let people bring guns on planes (remember, the collective intelligence is hovering around clinically retarded), but I think our current security is excessive and poorly designed.

“What’s that 4oz bottle of shampoo in your bag?” asks the security guard. “Oh, it’s just the 4oz of shampoo it takes to hijack a plane. 3oz isn’t enough to threaten the pilot and copilot both, but 4oz is sure to make them give me control of the plane!”

Explosives
Sure, you might claim that the 3oz rule is for catching liquid explosives, but think about it. We assume security can detect explosive materials (otherwise, what is preventing a terrorist from putting 10 3oz bottles in a zipped bag?), so doesn’t it make more sense to not have a limit and catch the stupid terrorists who try to bring a liter of flammable liquid? If the terrorists are going to have to bring very small amounts of dangerous liquids/gels to get past security’s fume detection anyway, why should everyone else be suffering? What difference does it make whether your 3oz bottles are in a gallon-sized clear bag or a quart-sized bag? Again, it would be easier to detect a large amount of dangerous chemicals than a small amount. Interestingly enough, you can bring more than 3oz of KY Jelly (per the TSA site), because passengers can’t survive without more than 3oz of KY, but allowing more than 3oz of actual hygiene products is just too dangerous!

Prohibited Items
I tried to get their list of prohibited items, but instead I received a 404 page. I did see that you can bring sharp-tipped scissors with 4-inch blades, because those are less of a threat than 4 ounces of shampoo. Similarly, 7-inch screwdrivers are permitted, but not gel-type candles or gel inserts for shoes. As if commercial airplanes aren’t uncomfortable enough…

Are they allowing cellphones to be on when taking off yet? That’s always been a stupid rule as far as security goes. Obviously, if cellphones were a threat to the airplane (which they aren’t because commercial planes have to use shielded cables and instruments), they would not allow you to bring them aboard. Otherwise a terrorist could just turn his phone on and suddenly everyone would die.

Conclusion
I’m not sure about you, but I’m not afraid of terrorists. I’m sick of the government trying to tell us to live in fear. Let me bring a shampoo bottle on the plane! If it’s so deadly, I could squirt the terrorist(s) in the eyes with it and save the day. I’ll even say this: American’s are not scared of terrorists. We never have been…

…unless they have comfy shoes with gel inserts.