“Good afternoon, I have a good software” was the subject of a spam email I received recently. It’s one of the few that have made it through gmail’s filter. Fortunately, I was able to get some laughs out of it. Here are my favorite lines:
All software is instantly available to download – No Need Wait!
Oh, thank goodness that I no need wait! I became very impatient waiting for someone to email me about a site that I can download Vista from…
ALL OUR SOFTWARES ON ALL EUROPEAN LANGUAGES – USA, English, France, Italy, Spanish, German and more!
Is that supposed to be “software’s” (i.e., “software is”) or is that the new plural of software? More importantly, when did “USA” become a European language? France and Italy are obviously countries—not languages—but at least they’re in Europe. Can I get Vista in Mexico language? And does that come with the “pantalla azul de la muerte” or do I have to pay extra for that feature?
Also we have so much soft for MACINTOSH!
I couldn’t decide if this was a sex joke or an even newer plural of software. If it’s the former, this person may wish to see the email I also received with the subject of “Schizzle my nizzle now” and with a body starting out “Snow white loved one particular drwarf, the one with a huge wang.” Ah yes, Wangy, the often forgotten “drwarf,” also frequently known as Tripod. No wonder Grumpy was always so upset; he just couldn’t compete.
Ian,
I am always interested in plurals and possible new plurals and collective nouns.
We have those old standbys: a flock of birds and a herd of elephants. But inventing some new ones is fun: a stickiness of software developers, maybe?
Sorry, but I’m not into dwarfs.
Robert
LOL!
I think Disney totally cut out Wangy out of their version of the story.
lol
Ian,
I thought of this post of yours when I read the new MySpace blog post by my friend Jessejames Locorriere
June 27, 2008 – Friday
What I’m Not There To Feel
While pacing a deep cut into the hard wood of your floor,
I stumbled on a thought that I had never thought before.
It sent me forward and pitched me back; I landed on all-fours
while all my fumbled soft solutions shot b-lines to the door.
11:57 AM
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Comment by Robert Stone
I generally like all your posts but I especially like this one.
Stumbling over thoughts,
fumbling towards the new “truth,”
beelines and b-lines.
It had not occurred to me to wonder just what “soft solutions” are.
Robert
Written Saturday, 28 June 2008 9:00 PM